As Mitch headed back to his apartment, the cookie he was holding was really starting to tempt him. He could feel its warmth even through the napkin that was wrapped around it. He would have stopped on a bench and ate it right now, but last time he ate in a public place , something occured and he was charged with disturbing the peace and three counts of what he liked to refer to as "whooping ass", it was assault, he was charged with assault. Not only that, but a few blocks back he had remembered that he wasn't wearing pants. So he "borrowed" a pair from a sleeping homeless man. Police were probably looking for him.
He finally got back to his apartment building and began the three story venture up the stairs. All of a sudden a crazy old woman began to hurdle pots and pans at Mitch, if he wasn't so sure who it was he probably would already be fleeing police from threat of murder charges. This woman, who by now had run out of pots and pans and had begun throwing various chairs, was his landlord. She was understandably disgruntled, as he had not payed rent in 6 months. As he reached into his front pocket, she began to calm down, and walked forward to collect the rent he was clearly reaching in his shirt to get. So, Mitch stabbed her in the neck with a needle full of horse tranquilizer. She fell to the ground mumbling something about killing someone, it wasn't too clear. He pushed aside the unconsious woman and continued up to his apartment.
He looked into his apartment and noticed that it had been broken into, but, looking around, there wasnt anything missing. He walked in and noticed a note on the table that said "I am so sorry". He didn't quite realize why, until he saw that the people who broke in had put several bags of groceries on his kitchen table, and apparently cleaned the house. It wasn't until just about this moment that he realized how much he needed work. but, it was six o'clock now and he still hadn't eaten breakfast, so he would do that now.
He sat down at his table, and unwrapped the cookie, he reached down to pick it up, and the instant flesh met cookie, he was hurddled through a thousand mile tube of fire. In between screaams he could be heard to say "I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE JUST GOTTEN A DONUT!", When he had finished his travel, he could feel a cold surface pressing on his face. He opened his eyes and saw that he was in some sort of freaky ass park. The floor was made of a translucent metal apparently, and beneath him all there was was space. He could see galaxy upon galaxy just sitting there in the darkness. A small animal began waddling towards him, and as he looked up, he saw a large white duck. "Hey there ducky!" Mitch said to the animal. "My name is Lloyd 'humaney'" said the duck.
When Mitch woke up, he was still in the "park". The duck was slapping him with what was apparently a fish. Mitch did not particularly care for the fish slapping that was going on, so he punched the duck, and it slid about five metres away from him. Mitch then stood up, and the duck began a rather angry waddle across the floor to Mitch, Mitch was preparing a nicely aimed kick, until the duck reached under his wing and pulled out an M-16. "STOP IT LLOYD!" came a voice from the distance. "Damnit, that guy is always interupting me" said the clearly disappointed duck. "bring the man to me, the choosing will begin in ten minutes". Lloyd stared at mitch. "you know, I feel bad for your race, if you could end up being the one to rule them"
"Yeah" said Mitch, "I feel sad for your race too, you sure are appaesing when you are skinned and put into a broiler for a good two hours".
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