Gah! I have been without internet access for a couple of weeks now, and I don't think it's coming back anytime soon! I'm at school right now (I have one class this semester) and the teacher is looking away, so I don't have much time. I will stop typing and hit publish as soon as sh-
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pssst. everyone ignore this, these are some pitches I wrote for Cracked.com. I'll just remove this comment later when I get home. I need a way to get it from school to home.
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[PITCH] Fact or Fiction: The search for God.
Essentially, this is an article done in a style similar to that of a "search for bigfoot" kind of television show or article. It will be written from the perspective of a reporter that has been sent into rural America (Location open to change), where many residence clain the existance of an elusive all knowing man-like creature they call God. The article will consist of a short history of this "myth" interviews with "believers" and "skepticists" as well as blurry photo(shop)s of god, in the woods, in the water, etc. in the style of blurry Bigfoot or Nessie pictures.
While I don't think that this is true, some people I have told about this think that it might come off as religion bashing. Of course, I'd just like to say that's not my intention, though I doubt many people would be dense enough to think it is.
Here is a sample of the article that I have written. It's an interview with a man who attends group meetings of god believers on sunday mornings... I know.
[Sample]
[PITCH] How to design a super effective e-business website!
A series of steps and tips (kind of like a tutorial) to create a "spectacularly awesome" e-business site. It basically plays on the notions that most people have about what is appealing to people surfing the internet. The article would focus on some of the "cliches" of Web2.0 style design (all glossy and shit), and "teach" readers how big shiny banners and glowing [i]everything[/i] are like free tickets to money-and-babes-town USA. Including photoshops of an example of the site along the way.
I realize of course that this idea isn't something that absolutely everyone would find funny, which is why I intend to cut out as much of the design mumbo jumbo as possible, and focus on the things that most people encounter everyday on the internet (the article won't consist of "Left side navigation?! Who even [i]does[/i] that?!" type jokes, I promise). I think that anybody who reads cracked is going to have enough experience on the internet to identify with the things I point out.
Here's a sample, this is the part of the article that deals with advertisements:
[Sample!]
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